My Christmas Wish.<3

As I lay here in bed unable to sleep – tears suddenly rush down my face. Tears of happiness, gratitude, love, awakening, and most of all -admiration. As I think about our life right now, I can’t help but cry happy tears. Happy you ask?!? We haven’t slept in our own bed in 2 weeks, haven’t slept for more than 6 hours in a night in 3 weeks, have completely drained our savings, canceling our honeymoon, have to nickel and dime everything we do and cut back everywhere we possibly can to pay for Bentleys cancer treatments (hello Ramen noodles and sperm donations haha!)…and lets not forget that my brother in law was rushed in for emergency open heart surgery this week after being told that his aortic wall was paper thin and about to burst! But I am crying happy tears…..why? Because, despite the fact that we will be eating lobsters in a hospital room on Christmas this year, and Brandon and I have no idea how we’re going to afford to eat for the next 12 months – this is undoubtedly going to be the best Christmas ever, and so too will every one we have together after this.
I’ve always been the type to cherish the small things, the invaluable things – a baby’s laugh, summer sunsets on the island, hugs from family, snuggles from Brandon. But this year…this year I have learned that those things are even more precious than we ever acknowledge. These last 3 weeks (and especially the last 3 days), have been the craziest/scariest emotional roller coaster I’ve ever been on. Even with that, I find myself truly amazed and my heart full of love and admiration. Admiration for how strong Bentley has been and continues to be. Unaware what is even going on inside him, everyday he teaches me how to live in the moment and take one day at a time and cherishing the little things..a walk in the backyard when he stops to smell the fresh air, the big smile on his face and nubby wagging whenever I come home (or come in from getting the mail for that matter!), and my favorite – cuddles at night while he dreams peacefully (despite his non-stop gas from his new food and Chemo). For the amazing doctors that repaired Chris’s aorta, and gave him back to us for years to come. Admiration for the love of a new wife – who undoubtedly saved his life and hasn’t left her husbands side…showing unwavering love, strength, and fight. Amazed by the strength of a single man..a man who cannot be kept down, a man with pure fight in his veins – not just to live another day (and thousands more), but to do it heroically. But mostly..a heart full of love. An unwavering love and admiration for my family, and a sudden sharp realization that no matter how much SHIT you are dealt..love and family are all that matters. And if you have that..you are truly among the richest. My only wish for Christmas this year is that everyone take the time to be grateful for what TRULY matters. Never hesitate to say I Love You. Lay in bed an extra 10 minutes to snuggle in the morning. Never waste a breathe on anger. Cherish your loved ones and every moment spent with them – those little moments..those are gold. Work less, play more. Help those that are less fortunate than you. Say hello to a stranger. Count your blessings, everyday. Hug a little longer, laugh a little more. Make everyday ‘the best day’, because you just NEVER know what tomorrow will bring.
This is my Christmas wish.<3