Month: December 2013

As I lay here in bed unable to sleep – tears suddenly rush down my face. Tears of happiness, gratitude, love, awakening, and most of all -admiration. As I think about our life right now, I can’t help but cry happy tears. Happy you ask?!? We haven’t slept in our own bed in 2 weeks, haven’t slept for more than 6 hours in a night in 3 weeks, have completely drained our savings, canceling our honeymoon, have to nickel and dime everything we do and cut back everywhere we possibly can to pay for Bentleys cancer treatments (hello Ramen noodles and sperm donations haha!)…and lets not forget that my brother in law was rushed in for emergency open heart surgery this week after being told that his aortic wall was paper thin and about to burst! But I am crying happy tears…..why? Because, despite the fact that we will be eating lobsters in a hospital room on Christmas this year, and Brandon and I have no idea how we’re going to afford to eat for the next 12 months – this is undoubtedly going to be the best Christmas ever, and so too will every one we have together after this.
I’ve always been the type to cherish the small things, the invaluable things – a baby’s laugh, summer sunsets on the island, hugs from family, snuggles from Brandon. But this year…this year I have learned that those things are even more precious than we ever acknowledge. These last 3 weeks (and especially the last 3 days), have been the craziest/scariest emotional roller coaster I’ve ever been on. Even with that, I find myself truly amazed and my heart full of love and admiration. Admiration for how strong Bentley has been and continues to be. Unaware what is even going on inside him, everyday he teaches me how to live in the moment and take one day at a time and cherishing the little things..a walk in the backyard when he stops to smell the fresh air, the big smile on his face and nubby wagging whenever I come home (or come in from getting the mail for that matter!), and my favorite – cuddles at night while he dreams peacefully (despite his non-stop gas from his new food and Chemo). For the amazing doctors that repaired Chris’s aorta, and gave him back to us for years to come. Admiration for the love of a new wife – who undoubtedly saved his life and hasn’t left her husbands side…showing unwavering love, strength, and fight. Amazed by the strength of a single man..a man who cannot be kept down, a man with pure fight in his veins – not just to live another day (and thousands more), but to do it heroically. But mostly..a heart full of love. An unwavering love and admiration for my family, and a sudden sharp realization that no matter how much SHIT you are dealt..love and family are all that matters. And if you have that..you are truly among the richest. My only wish for Christmas this year is that everyone take the time to be grateful for what TRULY matters. Never hesitate to say I Love You. Lay in bed an extra 10 minutes to snuggle in the morning. Never waste a breathe on anger. Cherish your loved ones and every moment spent with them – those little moments..those are gold. Work less, play more. Help those that are less fortunate than you. Say hello to a stranger. Count your blessings, everyday. Hug a little longer, laugh a little more. Make everyday ‘the best day’, because you just NEVER know what tomorrow will bring.
This is my Christmas wish.<3

Hello All!

It has been awhile since we last posted – we have had ALOT going on. Say nothing about the cancer and adjusting to life as a tripawd, but my brother in law was rushed in for emergency open heart surgery this week. It has been one hell of a week that is for sure!! He is doing great now, but it was the longest 24 hours of my life. I know they say that you’re not given anything that you can’t handle, but damn – when are we gonna catch a break?? The last three weeks have been absolutely crazy for my family – we are very much looking forward to welcoming 2014 you could say!!!

With that being sad, Bentley is an absolute rock star!! He had his sutures taken out at day 11 post-amp and doc said everything looks amazing! His incision looks great, and he is doing amazingly at getting around! His lymph node came back clear wahoo, and all of his blood work looks perfect so we went ahead and did his first Chemo treatment yesterday! He seems to be un-phased by it thus far, but I know that day 3-4 is where it can be ugly. I’ve heard for the most part they will be great, so we’re hoping for that! 🙂 Christmas is going to be extra special this year, after the hell that we’ve been through the last week – it’s really made me sit back and think about what really matters. I have always been the type to care more about the little things in life anyway, but now even more so than ever before. We know that we’re fighting a monster here, but right now all of the odds are in our favor, and Bentley is one tough little man! We’re definitely going to enjoy family time this holiday season – looks at though we’ll be doing it from my brother in laws hospital room, but I don’t even care. We are all alive, and fortunate enough to be able to be together – so we’re going to celebrate that! 🙂

We’re heading back out to Greenville to be with Chris tomorrow, so will probably not write again until after the holidays so Bentley and I want to send sloppy Rotty kisses to all!!! We hope everyone has a fantastic holiday sharing time with loved ones!!

xoxo

Hello all and Happy Monday!! So Bentley seems to be doing great at home, he is doing much better than I expected – but the verdict is that Bentley is stubborn as hell! He has been holding his pee for 16 hours, then when we take him out he doesn’t want to go. We bring him in, get him laying back down and the second you turn around he’s gotten up and is trting to walk to the door!!! I guess it’s a good thing bcuz he obviously feels good and is starting to get the hang of it – but doc says we shouldn’t let him walk alone yet bcuz of incision..he is making it very difficult though!! He literally will just stand there if you put sling on like screw you I am not a puppet..then if you have your back turned he’ll get up and  try to walk on his own! He only gets a couple steps before he needs to stop and rest, or he sometimes wobbles and falls. :/
So, I’m not sure what we should do – I got NO sleep last night because I was terrified that he’d get up on his own and hurt himself..so literally every time he’d so much as move a toe I sit straight up in bed. Those of you with big dogs, how did you deal with this? Is this normal that he’s already over it and trying to get up and go? Im just so afraid he’s going to hurt himself, but it’s also impossible to sit and watch him 24/7 – as it is we have to have someone to come stay with him this week because I have some stuff I need to done for work. I’m just trying to figure out how not to hold him back, but also don’t want him getting hurt – and mama bear needs to sleep, so what we did last night isn’t going to work!

 

And just for some good laughs..this was last night after he went out to pee, playing and being silly with his sisters. 🙂trim.F944AA2D-A406-4E22-9FC7-653E70630594

Well it’s been a long morning, but my baby boy is home and resting peacefully! Meekah has yet to leave his side, she is such a good sister!! It was definitely a lot harder seeing him for the first time than I had thought..I tried to prepare myself with research photos and videos, but I guess there’s no preparing yourself for these things. It was really rough at first, and very difficult for him to walk at all, but now he’s settling in and starting to learn that he’s gotta do things a little differently now with the help of the slings until he can walk alone. At first he was basically hitting his face on floor everytime he walked, but he’s realizing to lean on us and the slings to help him. Is this normal? To those of you with Rotties and other big breeds – when your tripawds first came home was it very slow going and tough to get around at all even with help?? I worry that it’s going to be really hard for him because of his displaysia..any help??!? suggestions?? it kills me because it makes me question our choice. I assume you’ve all gone through these emotions and struggles to??

He also wouldn’t pee at first, I think he Disnt want us to have to help him – too proud! But when he finally peed it was 10 minutes! haha. He is also very excited to be home with his toys, and has even played ball a few times while laying down! And I know our road will be slow, and long, but seeing that his personality is still him is a very big help for me moving forward! Well be spending the next two days cuddled in the living room and loving on our baby boy!!!

Our handsome boy is out of surgery and recovering well!! I just got another update from the surgeon that he is alert and doing great – he’s already rolling over on his incision so she’s know that he’s feeling good in happy land with a nice doggie cocktail! 🙂 I’ve been keeping myself super busy today cooking his meals for the next couple days, getting stuff caught up around the house, and preparing the house ready for his return home…oh, and lets not forget moving our bedroom downstairs to the living so he can avoid stairs for a few weeks. I also ordered the ruff wear harness for him and overnighted it. I know that this battle is nowhere near won – but if this cancer thing has taught me anything so far..it’s to take one day at a time!! To celebrate the small wins everyday, and to stay positive and take things as they come! Next chapter is to get my baby boy home and take recover slow and easy as we learn together how we do things with 3 legs. 🙂 A HUGEEE thank you to everyone who’s been supporting us through this past 7 days..your support honestly has gotten us through and kept me so strong!! Now, mama bear can finally breathe for a bit and sit down to relax tonight and rest up for tomorrow!

Sloppy Rotty kisses,

Kate & (my currently high as a kite) Bentley 🙂

 

Heres our morning pre-surgery pictures, and pictures of my stand-in cooking assistants today! 🙂

As I write this my handsome boy is curled up on my legs snoring away, getting his rest for our big day tomorrow! Bentley had a blast tonight surrounded by family and friends – everyone brought toys and treat, and of course lots of hugs and kisses!! It makes me so happy to see how much love he has and support for our family and friends!! Everyone is finally gone and  it’s time for Mama Bear to try to get some sleep too! Here are a few pictures from out impromptu family photoshoot with Bentley in his cancer-beating badass shirts for after surgery tomorrow! 🙂

Sloppy Rotty Kisses,

Kate & Bentley

 

 

 

 

What a day we have had today!! We did get his biopsy back from the nodule in his spleen and it was cancer free waaahoooo!!! We had our consult this morning with the surgeon for tomorrows operation. I was not at all prepared for the consultation with the surgeon. I know it’s good that she is honest, but I guess I wasn’t as prepared for this operation as I thought! She was explaining that because of Bentley’s hip displaysia, that his recovery was probably going to be much slower going. She also told us to bring a T-shirt for him post-op as we will not want to see all of his incisions and bruising. That is when it hit me what we were about to do. I assume that everyone goes through these same emotions, all of a sudden I started second guessing what I was doing in deciding to remove one of my dogs limbs. So I came home and decide to look up online to see pictures and videos of recently amputated big dogs..I guess in hopes to prepare myself more. What I found instead of second guessing myself, was a renewed hope that I was indeed doing what was best for my baby. I cannot even fathom the pain that this stupid cancer is causing him – and seeing the videos of other dogs running and jumping into their peoples arms when they come to pick them up after surgery was absolutely amazing. It brought me to my knees in tears, in a good way though! After a week of crying, cursing, asking myself why? and not knowing what to do..I find myself with a fierce fight in my heart, and more love for this furry baby than I could ever imagine. He has always been my rock, my best friend, and now it’s my time to fight for him! I am so hopeful about the future we will have together, 3 paws and all! 🙂

So tonight we got our our bad-ass cancer beating surgery T-shirts from Daddy’s closet and we’re throwing an impromptu “pre-surgery” party for him with our closest family and friends. 🙂 He goes in tomorrow morning for surgery, so we ask for paws crossed, prayers, and healing vibes for an uneventful day tomorrow!!!!

 

Big Rotty Kisses, Bentley and Kate xoxo

 

Bentley was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma in his front left leg on 11/27/2013. It was by far the worst day of my life thus far. CANCER. That word in itself, can give chills to most people. It ruins lives. It stops a mother in her tracks. Human child or not, this boy is my world. To say my world was turned inside out, and the wind knocked completely out of my sails in an understatement! I cried for 4 days straight, but then I woke one day with a new fight in my heart. We have vowed to fight the good fight, and will do everything in our power to beat this monster – until the day that my sweet boy says it’s time to let go. We have heard so many positive stories, and although we know that statically this disease in 95% fatal in the first year…we are determined that we can be part of that 5%. Here will will document our journey, prayers and healing thoughts are more than appreciated! Thank you SO much to our friends and family for all of our support!

11.27.13:       OS Diagnosis

11.28.2013:     Began home cooking the “anti-cancer” diet and supplements, he loves it!

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12.3.2013:   Visit to Oncologist, elected to put him under anesthesia and do a complete CT scan to asses the progression of cancer

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12.4.2013:   Results from scans back – no spread of cancer wahoo!!!, found tiny nodule on his spleen, took him in to biopsy nodule